21 down to 3

All but 3 of our embryos stalled out.  The 3 looked great.  We put them all in since the egg quality concerns my RE had look like they could be real.  Hoping for twins out of this so we never have to go through this again.

I have OHSS again

I haven't had any abdominal pain (the stuff that sent me to the ER last time) but I am really feeling the pressure and overall sickness.  Stomach bloated, nauseous, barely have any energy.  I get winded walking to the bathroom.  I am drinking salty soup 3-4 times a day starting when I wake up cause salt is supposed to help keep the fluid out of my abdomen.  Not the sexiest condition.

Transfer is tomorrow.  Most of my embryos are still going strong, but we'll find out exact numbers tomorrow when we go in.  My first few nights I was terrified of having to go to the hospital -- but now I'm just settling in... hoping this shit goes away.  My RE isn't too concerned.  He thinks it's mild-moderate.  I agree.  But still -- it's scary not knowing where it's going or how long it's sticking around.  Hands down the worst physical part of IF for me -- no question.  My least fav time of day is 9:15pm when I lay on my bloated belly to get my intramuscular butt shot.  All kinds of unpleasant.  But we got so many eggs this time -- at least this shiznit is for something exciting.  Last time I went through this it was for 3 not great embryos that didn't result in pregnancy.

I am nervous transferring embryos when my body's in this condition... but I want a shot at a fresh transfer, my RE isn't concerned... so we're going to do it.

16

fertilized!  So.. now we wait for them to grow and see what makes it to day 5.  Which is Mon. So my transfer is scheduled for Monday afternoon.  These are great numbers -- just can't help but feel a little wary about issues popping up.  So, no counting eggs until they hatch.

But so far -- so GOOD!

I'm so sore --went back to work today... but nothing I can't handle.  Fingers crossed there's no OHSS lurking in the near future.  I got nervous when I went to bed last night -- like, "Hope I don't wake up screaming in the middle of the night and have to go to the hospital."  It usually takes a few days for OHSS to set in... so if i make it through Sat., I'll start to relax.  Tiny, reasonable goals.  Totally respectable.  Couldn't help but look up my due date if this works.  Right around Valentine's Day.  Getting a tad ahead of myself already.  Awesome.

21!

They took 21 eggs out this morning.  Nothing horrible happened.  I'm tired and sore but just fine.  Tomorrow we'll hear how many fertilized.  Holy shit -- something went well for me!   This is just the thing i needed to get me through the pain of Oprah ending today.

Game on!

Tomorrow is my egg retrieval.  I had 20 follicles as of Mon. morning.  I triggered at 8pm last night in the bathroom of my boss's hotel room on a work trip.  I came out and my coworkers cheered.  BFF was in there for support.  I know there's still tons of stuff that can go wrong, but maybe this will be the one where things go right.

here we go again

Sat.'s u/s looked good.  Tomorrow my RE is meeting me at 7:15 for an u/s so I can catch a 9:30 flight for a one day work trip.  If my follies are there, have not mysteriously disappeared... then either I trigger tomorrow night for a Wed retreival or I stay on drugs for another night or two (unlikely).  So... last time I went in for the pre-trigger appt is was horrible and the cycle pretty much was over.  And we were devastated.  So, here's hoping it goes okay. Also scary packing for an out of town trigger.  If I get to do it... I packed extra needles... there's nothing I can do where i'm going if it gets messed up... I also had to pack my meds for every situation...

please please please let this all go smoothly

so... things are okay as of now

Just has u/s.  I have some follies growing.  11s-14s.  My lining is 8.5.  Not awesome but grew .5 since Mon.  No cysts yet.  Maybe cause I'm on one estrogen suppository/day instead of am and pm.

I go back Sat. for another u/s.  The nurse is getting set for me to trigger Monday but I told her I usually take a little longer.  We'll see.  Maybe this will all work.  I'm feeling optimistic.

Had plans to go away this weekend but now we're going to come back early Sat morning for u/s appt.  Happy to do it if it helps this cycle at all.  I have a work trip Mon. morning to Tues evening.  Will get tricky getting in for an u/s before i go to the airport but I think my doc is willing to work with me.  I told him I need to make my boss happy so I make money in case there's a next cycle.  He said not to think like that.  I know he has to say that but I really do feel that he wants me to get pregnant and isn't looking to take my money.

And that f-ing magazine was on top of the stack again so I told the receptionist I was hiding it at the bottom of the pile because it's a bummer to see.  Small victories for IFers still count!  Gotta take em where I can get them!

I thought it was a little depressing that my BFF's blog post yesterday was of her baby's 6 month birthday and mine was complaining about reading material in my RE's office.  I cannot wait to not have this be my life.