Nuff Said.

Well, there it is in my RE's handwriting.  My lining thickened up but there are little fluidy cysts that my RE was concerned about and thought were "weird" so this cycle is cancelled.  RE has to think about what to do next and consult with his partners to figure out what to do next cycle.  I am disappointed.  I didn't cry in the doc office, didn't cry on the drive back.  Came home and poured my self some cereal... then cried while I ate.  I know there's a whole website devoted to crying while you eat... and i get it.  There's nothing more pathetic than that... except a few weeks ago when I was having a bit of a breakdown and also had to go to the bathroom.  Ah, nothing more glamourous than pooping and crying.  I don't even remember what I was upset about, but that was officially one of my lowest IF moments.

On a happier note - today turned out to be okay.  I had a back to work bbq with several brand new parents, some preggers peeps and lots of baby talk.... but it was okay.  I was happy to see everyone.  Happy for the BFF who was there and is finally preggo from her ivfs... I got drunk for the first time in months.  I feel okay.  I think the first news of my FET being postponed was the big upset, so it getting cancelled feels like less of a shock.  Then I came home to DH who is pampering me and being incredibly sweet.  Today could have been much worse.  Now I will spend the week choking down my progesterone lozenges, keeping up with my meds, waiting for AF in a week... .and starting over again.