the man behind the curtain...

Well, I still really like my RE, but today he has let me down for the first time.  When I switched over to this RE, I was coming off a communications mess between my crazy endocrinologist who was managing my Thyroid issues and my exRE who was horrible all around.  I asked my current RE if he would be comfortable managing my Thyroid so one person was in charge of all of my IF meds for now.  He agreed.  Since then I've pushed to have my levels checked and he has always been laid back about it.  My levels have always been okay.  So a week ago I got my levels checked (per my request) and i've been playing phonetag with the nurses and the RE was supped to call me back with results.  So, here I am starting my FET cycle today and I finally find out my levels are really high.  When my RE finally called me back, he said he thinks I should go to another doctor to manage my Thyroid because he doesn't really do that stuff.  WHY THE FUCK IS HE JUST TELLING ME THIS NOW???  I could have already done this so it wouldn't be popping up my first day of injections, during an extremely busy month for me.  I'm trying to be laid back this cycle, but crap like this doesn't help.  I still trust him, just not 100% anymore.  I was madly in love with his office, with him as a doctor... and now I feel like it has been reduced to "like."  Hopefully my levels will come down and not get in the way of me getting pregnant/give my unborn baby birth defects.  I had a 20 min meltdown (sounds like I'm coming out with a new work out CD where you cry the calories off... healthy, right?)  but then C put me in the car and got me In & Out.  I was instantly calmer... I think hunger and starting my cycle meds today played a part in my little fit... but I think most of it was just feeling exhausted from a year and a half of frequent doctors appts, managing my own health care, giant bills and just a ton of disappointments.  To my beloved friends and family who check in here who luckily have not had to go through IF first hand, I know I sound whiny and negative... it is just a constant struggle.  I believe something good will come in the end, but right now, I'm tired.