Monday, August 19, 2013
Well... I haven't been posting about my cycles as much. I do want to track it, but I've been, I guess, trying to ignore it as much as I can. That last transfer I posted about was a BFN. I've since transferred the one remaining frozen (that survived and tho was stuck in the tube did wind up inside me). I just found out that too was a BFN. I've now done 2 fresh and 1 frozen since L was born and I have no frozens left. Will have to start over. Feeling discouraged. My re is starting to question my protocol as well as thinking I should be putting back more than one embryo which after this last time, he doesn't need to be the one convincing me -- I'm already there. Anyone reading this who's done any ivf knows how much thought, money, hope, time, planning, favors, etc went into these failures. For the 1st time since I had a baby, I am now honestly wondering if I will get to do it again. Back to a lot of the old, terrible ivf emotions. Bitter. I know I'm lucky to have one kid. I know. It is just exhausting to have to work so hard for something so important -- that is usually just handed to people.