Thursday, December 30, 2010

another round of holidays behind us

This Christmas was okay.  I was braced for it being hard.  There were a few moments but generally okay.

Just drove home from NoCal.  Rest stops full of moms with cigarettes and little kids.  In SF I saw a ton of people who looked like us but with kids... I guess because it's a walking city, you actually SEE more families scuttling around.   We caught up with old friends and were very honest about what's going on with us... I have this feeling like I want everyone to know what we've been through.

I'm feeling angry tonight.  Don't know why it makes sense for us to have this struggle when others don't.  Running out of new thoughts on this.  It's always hard.

I'm supposed to be taking care of myself so I'm in a good place for our upcoming FET... will have to start doing that...


  1. You should read "Inconceivable" by Julia Indichova, if you haven't already read it. I thought it was a very good read.

    I'm sorry you're feeling down. I've had a lot of those days. Especially when you see people exposing their kids to second-hand smoke, or the snotty-ratty haired kids that aren't being taken care of. Ugh. I realize that my daughter was in a situation like that the first three years of her life. I hope I can make up for it now.

    Good luck with your upcoming FET. I think it's great that you have an action plan to look forward to!

  2. I think I have that book if you want to borrow it.

    I just wrote a post (procrastinate much?) about how every night I found myself crying in the shower last month about why everything has to be so hard. When do we get a break? I feel better now. I hope you do soon.