Saturday, March 23, 2013

The Morning After

I woke up around 6.  The soreness from egg retrieval mixing with a weird uneasy feeling in my gut (literally and figuratively).  My left butt cheek is sore from my 1st progesterone shot last night.  That my mom had to give me.  Why?

Well... yesterday when my alarm went off at 4:30am to get ready for my ER, I saw that C was in bed next to me in his scrubs.  He'd made it home from being on call just a few hours earlier.  I touched him and felt that he was HOT.  We took his temperature and it was 102.8.  We were both nervous about what that would mean for retrieval... would his sperm be okay?  Do we call the doc?  How after all this ivf is there still new shit to pop up and shake it all up???

Instead we got ready, he took some Advil and I drove him to our appointment.  It turned out that because it was a new fever, it would be okay.  But after C did his sperm "deposit" he went to sleep in the car -- it's a tiny waiting room and we didn't think it was fair to the other patients that day to have a sick guy there.  So I was there alone.  It was okay because they took me right in.  They said I was a hard stick... a relatively new thing.  After the IV went in I felt a little nauseous.  I also felt like I was going to cry.  Was I scared?  I'd done this quite a few times before.  I'm supposed to be good at it by now.  I guess it's so stressful leading up to it -- so many things could go wrong (for me anyway).

I woke up and heard there were 12 eggs and still counting.  I asked for C.  The called him and he came right up and helped me get dressed. On the way out we asked how many eggs they got.  The receptionist looked at my chart and said "2+".  What the fuck does that mean?  A nurse read it... it said 24!  She had misread the 4 as a "+".  Oh, lady.

I'm pretty sure that's the most amount of eggs I've ever had retrieved.  Which is exciting.  Maybe this cycle will be even better than the last.  Maybe it's just getting my hopes up... we'll see.

We got home and C and I fell asleep on opposite edges of our bed -- he didn't want to get me sick; I had no desire to be touched.  I woke up a little later to C shivering.  Guess he's not getting better right away. My mom is here -- taking care of little one.  I was trying to take care of C -- me hobbling around getting an extra blanket, something to drink.  My mom doing the same for me.  It was a funny caretaking exchange.  (Of course my mom would've done all that stuff -- I'm just trying to to what I can when I can so I don't exhaust everyone since I might be less able later).

I woke up a few hours later and felt sore but good.  Got stressed out when I realized my mom would have to do my shot.  This is the one that always hurt and I got sorer as the night went on and wished I could just lay on the couch and let C handle everything -- but he was a mess himself.  The shot didn't hurt -- good job, Mom!  But it left its normal, lovely lady lump behind.

I slept pretty well... but woke up about an hour ago at 6.  I feel an uneasiness.  I know what it is.  It feels like there's a circle the size of a small paper plate around my belly button -- and under that circle is a sinking, uncomfortable feeling.  It's the beginning of OHSS.  I expect it might be bad this time with all those eggs.  I HOPE it will not be bad because every cycle is different.  But I am nervous.  C is nervous.

I wouldn't leave the ER without my percocet prescription.  Last OHSS I tried to go without using it and it wasn't until the end that I caved and felt slightly human.  I don't want to hold out this time -- but I could hear myself asking for it (my doc already said he would do it -- I was just afraid that with C sick and my groggy post ER that we might leave without it).  Anyway, I sounded like an addict.  As if I did this cycle just to get that prescription.  I told the doc, he could give me Valium ( I remember getting some last transfer and realizing how much it helped)... whatever would help with the least amount of potency.  So I have the  Percocet prescription on the dining room table... I was hoping that I wouldn't need to get it filled, but waking up feeling this thing in my gut makes me think that might be where we're headed.  I've got my fingers crossed that my "gut feeling" is just some other thing related to having retrieval yesterday and that I'm worried for nothing.

Still, I'm thrilled to have so many eggs.  We'll see how many fertilize.... then after that it's wait to day 5 to see how many survive.

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