Saturday, November 26, 2011

awake. again.

Fell asleep around 1am.  Woke up to pee around 3.  That was it.  Finally got out of bed around 5... scraped together a GD friendly meal.  I was starving and our fridge is pretty empty to accommodate T-Day leftovers which I couldn't even look at.  My brain isn't quite working so being productive is pretty much out of the question.  So, here I am.  I know today will not be awesome now.  When C wakes up, I will be hitting my insomnia wall and starting to doze off... I'll lose the morning with him.  I'll have to take Benedryl to fall asleep tonight.  I'm trying not to take it too much but pretty much every night without it there's a 75% chance I will not get to sleep more than a few hours.  Part of the problem is around 6:30/7pm I can't keep my eyes open.  So the past few nights I wind up napping a little then... no wonder I'm not sleeping.  Don't know how to get out of this cycle since I'm supposed to be lying down all day.  It's hard to regulate when you sleep when you're always in the position to do so.  Am I particularly cranky?  Yes.  I had a great doc appt on Wed.  My cervix is still at 2cm.  And as relieved as I was to not have the fear of the baby coming in the immediate future, I felt immediate dread and disappointment that I probably have another 6 weeks in this shitty limbo.  I "hope" I do for the baby's sake, but for mine... I don't know what to wish for.

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