Thursday, July 21, 2011

it's been forever

since I wrote... or at least it feels like it.  My family's been visiting and I've been so exhausted the second the day calms down, it's usually time to ice for my shot and then bed.  I have been so sick at night.  Extremely nauseous, exhausted, headachy, can't keep my eyes open.  I'm learning I have to be really assertive and tell people no when I feel over-exerted.  It seems like people don't understand the extent of how bad I feel (again, thrilled to be feeling bad because I'm pregnant)... but I never understood how rough first tri could be before i experienced it, so I don't blame anyone else for not getting it.

I just had a great doc appt today.  I'm 10 weeks 2 days... and everything is going well.  I can't believe I got this far.  I can't believe my body is functioning.  I had to get blood drawn today and I got a little choked up.  For the past couple years I've had so many blood draws my "good" arm is no longer easy to get blood from -- now I use my other arm.  I've sat in the blood draw chairs at several different offices and labs, sometimes fighting back tears, sometimes extremely depressed, sometimes nervously hopeful... but today I sat there getting the normal ob blood panel done.  Because at this point I'm normal.  The nurse taking my blood asked how far along.  I said 10 weeks. Then she asked if my husband knew.  I laughed.  Keeping the pregnancy secret for the whole first tri sounds so Leave it to Beavery-pregnancy is a happy game-insane to me.

I have a belly.  Maybe it's just bloat pushing out the belly i already had... but I have something I can't cover up.  My OB said (ha!  I just typed OB instead of RE!!!!) that I "don't exactly have a long torso" and that the pregnancy has no where to go but out...  My NT scan is Aug 1st... I'm going to try and keep this secret at work until after that appt.  I can't wait for this to not be a secret.  I think that will make it feel real.

I can't believe this is working out.  I feel so, so lucky right now

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