I feel so weird about this. Just went home for one Step-Grandpa's funeral and one 85th b-day party for my other Grandpa. At the funeral I was a mess physically. Nauseous, tired from flying all night with no sleep, the weather was hot and sticky, and the day was overwhelming anyway. I told my grandma first. It changed her whole demeanor. She was very happy and it was totally rewarding sharing the news with her. Then I told my aunts and uncles and they were ecstatic. Later I was talking to a cousin I hadn't seen in at least 15 years about how she's having trouble getting pregnant. I told her all about my ivf and when she asked where I was in the process, I felt weird lying since some people there knew. So I told her. I explained how early it is and how cautious we are. Later her mom congratulated me so I knew the news had spread. I never see these people, but it just felt weird.
Then the b-day party. BEFORE I told anyone, my grandpa's girlfriend (who knew we've been doing ivf) came up to me, asked if I was pregnant WHILE POKING MY BELLY. Then she said "Nah, too soft." WTF?! Thank god I am or I would've lost it. I told my grandpa first and he was very happy. The I awkwardly told everyone else. It felt so odd but my parents were dying to tell cause they've been lying for me. I don't regret telling -- I'm thankful for the opportunity to tell people in person. I'm glad I got to bring my grandma some happiness on a really hard day. But still... I don't know when I'll feel comfortable saying "I'm pregnant." Don't know when I won't worry. I made the mistake of reading online about someone who just miscarried right where I am in my timeline: post seeing heart beat, finding out at graduation appt from RE (mine's Tues). In their 8th week. I think I read those things to find reassurance that their situations are nothing like mine -- but seeing one that was made me miserable.
I have an u/s tomorrow for our first ob-gyn appt. Hopefully I'll see all is well and I'll be sane for another five-ish days.