Friday, June 25, 2010

Oh, mama.

Despite what sitcoms say, not all moms/mother-in-laws are naggy and annoying. I know many people dealing with IF either keep it from their families or go to their families for support and instead get horrible things said to them.  My parents and my in-laws have all been incredibly supportive.  I am very lucky.  My mom (who I'm close with) has had her ear jibber-jabbered off ever since we decided to start trying with all of my pre TTC, then TTC, then not being able to conceive calls... then today I got this from my mother-in-law (who I love, but am still getting to know) out of no where:

Hang in there.  Know things are a little uncertain still and it's hard not to worry.  It may take longer than expected, but the babies will come.  We love you.  Be well.

I think because we were very open with our families, and they saw (almost) first hand how hopeful we were, how I had to excuse myself from family functions to jab needles in me, the phone calls/emails with medical details... the picture we sent of our perfect embryos (that didn't take) etc... this email from my MIL was a reminder that even though life is sort of going on... our families know what we just went through... and still are some of our biggest cheerleaders.  Neither set of parents have ever pressured us to have kids, or been the least bit pushy about it.  And now they're all just being so amazing about it.  I feel very lucky in that respect.  

And this is the end of my dreaded first week back at work... and despite some of the bad things I was worried about totally happening like:

 -tons of baby talk/pictures being shared among the people expecting at work (we all work in the same room all day so this was unavoidable ...  cell phone pics of nurseries and ultrasounds literally being passed OVER me
-my coworker who used to drink decaf coffee with me last year is now only brewing pots of regular because now he has a kid and jokingly told me to "get pregnant" if I want to be drink buddies with him (don't look for logic in that.. there wasn't)
-another coworker who asked if since my BFF was preg, if I was planning to as well
-my boss asked if I was pregnant as a joke because I was drinking an alcoholic beverage at our work bbq
-another coworker bragged about being able to get anyone pregnant since he got his wife pregnant immediately both times they tried.

This was just one week of work.  And these are just some of the moments.  Still... most of them rolled off my back.  They don't know about my IF, so I can't blame them.  It's just a lot to take in everyday... but I was surprisingly okay with it all.  No tears.  No discreetly sneaking off to take some deep breaths.  I'm sure there will be a day when one of those comments get to me, but I survived week one.

1 comment:

  1. One thing that's great about "coming out" at work, is that a lot of those jokes stop. I had a really hard time telling people at work that I was IF. For some reason, it was a really hard thing for me to admit. Maybe because it just seems like it should come naturally? I don't know. Also, something I don't have a lot of control over?

    Both of our Moms have been very supportive. My Dad doesn't really want to talk about it, but he did give me $2000 towards my last cycle, and it made me cry. (He's a sweetie, just doesn't know how to talk about things sometimes) My FIL, on the other hand, wants to know details, and then when I say something about considering donor eggs- he has an opinion. It's annoying. I know they all love us, but that is something that I believe to be such a personal choice, and once I'm finally ok with a choice like that, it's very hard to have someone knock it down. (I don't think he means to come across as rude, but it does.)

    Good luck! I'm glad you have such great support!