Monday, June 21, 2010

What did you do on your summer break?

Most people's summers are just starting... but the big back to work question for me was "What did you do over break?"  For my job, that was April-today.  Supposed to be a very simple question.  I could have answered "Oh... countless doc appts, shots, meds, hopes crushed, blah, blah, blah..." but since I'm still in the IF closet at work, I just answer quickly and change the subject.

Aside from that, today was actually refreshing.  Work kept my mind occupied.  I felt like there are actually other parts to me than just my IF.  Still, it is unsettling to have nothing planned right now.  No appt. to look forward to... no timeline.  Just waiting for my RE to come back from his perfectly timed vacation to help me decide what my next step is.  Maybe it's a good thing to not spend my first day back at work on the phone with my doc.  Of course I came home to see my latest bank statement where we paid off our IF bills... it made me gulp.  I knew it was coming but wow, it's still shocking.  At least we went for the back up plan and our 2nd IVF is already paid for (if teh FETs don't work).  I was hoping that money would have been a waste of a gamble because we'd already be preggo.  

Yes, IF costs a ton of $.  Yes, IF taints (ha - I said taint) every day.  But today was still a pretty good day.

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