Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Horrible Egg Retrieval...

Before the retrieval I was staring up at the big operating room light thinking "How did I get here?... I'm on an operating table while DH is watching porn in a small doctor's office room nearby and that's how we're trying to make a baby.  I'm missing a lot of work... my male bosses plan their days around my fucking uterine lining...and this is my life.  Okay."  Then I wake up from my procedure and no one is telling me how it went but I hear people talking about calling my RE in Paris.

Turns out they went to take out my eggs in one ovary and there were no eggs.  So they stopped and called it a day.  I've been freaking out all day.  They said it was not good and they weren't sure what happened.  I just got the call that it turns out I didn't trigger at all.  Don't know why, maybe the pharmacy messed up my dose... something to ask about later.  For now, I'm triggering again, this time with HCG which will make me more likely to over stimulate...  I had a shot this morning to suppress my ovulation until then, but there's a chance my eggs will not be sitting there waiting for me on Thursday when take 2 is planned.  I will have an ultrasound before the retrieval to determine if it's worth doing.  I couldn't believe I was leaving there "empty handed" this morning.  Of all the things that are starting to go wrong for me, making eggs is my jam.  I'm good at that.  So this morning was a shock.

So as of a few minutes ago when I got the call... now I at least have hope that MAYBE I will get half the eggs I was making from the one ovary they're going to bust into.  And maybe my body isn't going to be messed up from having ovulation suppression shots on the same day as ovulation trigger shots.  It's been a depressing day.  But less depressing than if I did all this and didn't get any shot at this cycle (because we may need a break to regroup after this) and I don't want to not have even had a chance (my second chance EVER to try and get pregnant).  The one "highlight" of today is the anesthesiologist asked if I was an egg donor or if they were for me.  I thought that was a funny idea and he said egg donors are usually young and attractive so it made sense.  For those of you who don't know me, I'm a regular looking girl and I was in a hair net at the time, so it was a weird moment.  All in all, not the day I was hoping for :(

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