Saturday, September 4, 2010
non stop action over here...
A week ago I saw my therapist who I now see about once a month since our schedules don't mix well... I'm busy with work (like, crazy busy) and she is semi retired and is traveling a lot... so I sat down and just recapping what had happened in the last month sounded like a ridiculous soap opera. Full of ridiculous lows, full of highs in other areas of my life... as I listed it all, I felt incredibly overwhelmed... but I'm trucking along. I'm almost a week into my fresh-frozen combo cycle (something my RE said he's never tried, never heard of... not the cheeriest pep talk, but that he thinks makes sense). I had an US today and my lining is at a 6 but the pattern's nice.. he's upping my meds so I'm taking 4 vials of menapur/day (which is almost $400/day). And of course IF (capital "if" not "infertility IF) but if I am lucky enough to get to do a transfer, it's falling on the week where I have some major work things going on, and I'm really hoping that everything lays out smoothly. Of course, maybe I should learn not to waste energy worrying about scheduling stuff since that dirty rug has been ripped out from under me plenty o' times. But still, I'm a little concerned about the timing of everything.
I feel less crazy right now. I know it's still lurking under the surface, but something about the disappointment of the last cycle being cancelled just numbed something in me. I can't handle absorbing each blow, so I'm just not. I went out to a street food festival last night and did my shot in the back seat of my sister's car with my sister and my cousin cheering me on... and hipsters frolicking about right outside the windows (which were all lit up so it was like a very unsexy peep show). And I'm about to do a shot right now. I'm going through all the motions... again... and hopefully my body will cooperate this time.