Wednesday, September 22, 2010

I'm getting okay

I have so much I want to get off my chest about the insanity of the past few days... but right now even opening up my lap top makes me a little winded.  I can generally breathe fine except for the quick to winded part... otherwise being unable to breathe is the telltale sign to go to the hospital, but now that I had about 2 liters of fluid drained from my abdomen yesterday, I'm feeling better.  Still bad, but not on that insane level where I've been the past few days.  I finally googled OHSS and it scared  me in the short term... it can come back, it can get worse... but it can go away (slowly :(  usually over a few weeks).  But now I know when to take pain meds, when to go to the ER, and when to go get more fluid drained if I need to (ps - they drain it by sticking a needle in your vag!).  The good news is I actually can still get preggo from this cycle, which is nuts to me because i've never been so physically distressed as I have since transfer day.  I still can't fit in ANY of my clothes... and I plan on going to work tomorrow so I don't get fired.  My fantasy for the next few weeks: I never feel worse than I do now... just slowly get better.  And then maybe get pregnant next week without it making my OHSS worse.  The goodish news is, if this cycle fails, there will be some relief in that I for sure won't overstimmulate any worse than I am now.  So there will be mild comfort in my disappointment.  This week has changed how I view my IVF process... something complicated just got complicated on a whole new "survivally" level.  But just like all pain and distress, will fade and hopefully not scare me about trying it again if I need to.

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