Friday, August 27, 2010

cycle update

Today something good happened.  I had my follow up appt with my new Thyroid doc, Dr. L.  It was a 2 min appt.  My levels look good.  he was very positive... listening to my worst case scenario questions and telling me why what we're doing is right and how even if something changes and my levels rise, he's not a reactionary doc and would not change my meds for a while anyway.  Yes, maybe he's too positive and will miss something that will cause a problem. OR he is exactly what I need: a doc who doesn't freak out at my numbers and puts added stress on me.  I'm going to gamble that he knows what he's doing because I can't handle the other option right now.

On Monday I have my appt to start my fresh-fet combo cycle.  If this cycle doesn't work, we will either take a break or do another biopsy/lap to investigate further.  Even just this week, one measly week after my FET was cancelled... I feel so much less crazy.  Still sad, still longing, but way less ready to cry at anything.  Less overwhelmed.  Maybe I'm getting better at receiving bad news.  Maybe I just can't react anymore because it's exhausting.  Honestly, whatever it is, I'm hoping it stays, even if it's unhealthy.  Life is much better right now and i am nervous that starting another cycle next week will put me right back to where I was.

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