Sunday, August 22, 2010


First off all, BFF -- I think this pic is perfect cause of the egg theme and the toast is taller and i love eggs n toast, but don't read into the weird square body or vacant eyes.

Anyway, BFF is in her 3rd trimester, and I found myself feeling bitter IF anger around her lately because I'm jealous and trying not to think about baby stuff when I don't have to.. plus this week was a sucky one for me.  Today I talked to her all about it and she did an excellent job of absorbing everything I said even though it's hard to hear... but since BFF went through IF herself, she gets it all.  We talked about how I'm nervous about how I'll handle the whole joyous birth thing, about how I'm nervous about how we work together and all day people talk to us about her pregnancy and we're gearing up for that to increase since she's popping now.  And we talked about how it sucks that she's going through this time where normally your best friend is available for onesie (see, I'm so infertile I don't even know how to spell that)... onesie shopping or whatever else regular happy girl friends do with their pregnant BFFS.  And how I'm just not capable of doing those things with her right now.  Just having talked about it today, I feel better.  The trickiest thing for me (and maybe her) is my moods change so much.. like right now, this very second, if it weren't 10 pm on a Sunday, I think I could handle baby-themed shopping.  But a lot of the time I can't.  Our situation sucks, we knew it would... and i think it's about to get harder since my shit's getting more complicated and scary for me as her stuff is getting really exciting and happy.  I think we both deserve free cruises or a whole showcase showdown's worth of prizes for everything we've had to deal with since both of us had to deal with ivf and what we have to deal with right now.

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