really bad day

went to u/s to find out whether we trigger wed or thurs... instead we learned that all about 15 of our large follicles are gone.  All of them.  They just didn't have the energy to keep growing and collapsed in on themselves.  It's very weird.  Once again we had a doc scratching his head about me.  Something complicated and odd is going on.  Either I didn't react well to the meds or have poor egg quality.  Both C and I heard this and thought separately "Holy shit.  We're not going to have our own kids."  After a particularly shitty morning... we started to feel a little better.  This is a giant set back, but doesn't feel like the end.  We still have about 10 smaller follicles growing and opted to up our meds over the next 3 days to see if they are salvageable instead of canceling the cycle all together.  But our hopes are down.  Not expecting anything good to come of this. After all -- all those other follicles that disappeared looked great until the very end... 

and the shittiest part of our life continues...