Monday, June 6, 2011
I am not feeling very optimistic. Yesterday I did a home test in the afternoon (I had just peed recently and you're supposed to use first morning pee -- and yes, maybe it's a little early) but it was negative. It gave me my first wave of disappointment. It might not mean anything. We'll know tomorrow. I am just so tired of ivf. And for those of you who read this and know me in real life -- I'm so tired of this drain on the other people in my life. I hope for all involved that I get good news... but I'm so used to getting not great news I can't imagine a reality where this just ends and we get a kid. I'm dreading getting this call at work. Dreading having to go about my day as if I didn't just get crushing news. And of course part of me is very hopeful. I'm too scared to test at home again so I'll just be desperately clutching my cell phone all day.