Sunday, June 19, 2011

Waiting for Thursday

I really feel like I'm just trying to trick myself to keep my brain busy so time passes faster.  I still "feel" pregnant.  My body is weird.  I know something's going on.  I know the odds are we will come out of this with a baby.  But I also know I could show up Thursday and see that there's something not right with the pregnancy.  And that it's over.  And that we have to start over.

My dad said the fam who knows I just did an ivf cycle is asking how it went and he's playing dumb.  Normally I wouldn't want to announce anything before end of first trimester... but I feel weird that the same people who were being supportive and checking in on me are being kept in the dark.  I think if we get to a point where we see a heartbeat I'll give my dad the okay to tell my grandma/uncles.  If I miscarry after that point I'll want my family's support anyway.... love how ivf takes the fun out of this stuff.

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