I had a bit of a melt down. I felt so overwhelmed and I couldn't figure out why. After some tantrum throwing I realized that every time I've cycled/had surgery/had a let down -- for 9+ months I've been doing it while I was working. So I stuffed my feelings away to get through my day. Now that I'm cycling and I have time to let it sink in.... I'm absorbing everything I've gone through. And it's huge. I still feel better than the low points of this year... but I'm overwhelmed. Even though this is a routine by now. I'm still overwhelmed. I got my calendar and it's a whole new protocol. New drugs, new theories, new everything. So there are a lot of variables. But I'm trying to let go and trust my doctor. To realize I can't control it.
I also went through my drug inventory to tell my RE what I have. It's a mini pharmacy. Such a waste because things keep expiring without getting used. I wish I knew that -- I could have donated them to someone.
Anyway the cycle goes on. The roller coaster of emotions continues... and I'm only on estrogen so far. Yikes.